Kirk Carter@ WGA Copyright 2013
WINE MAMA (25)
MORNING FRICTION
INT: MODESTO POLICE DEPARTMENT-DETECTIVE SMITH'S OFFICE-MONDAY-8 AM
SHOWING DETECTIVE SHELLY SMITH WITH DETECTIVE MIKE BROWN GOING THROUGH THE MORNING AGENDA
DETECTIVE SMITH
"We need to investigate Tom Johnson again...we've been trying to nail this guy...like forever!"
DETECTIVE BROWN
"Again...I remember this guy, what's he up to now?"
SMITH
"Let's see, brandishing a weapon in front of his girlfriends and anybody else who will stand still for the show..."
BROWN
"Can't stay away from his pop-guns huh...from what I can see here, he's ramping up to overthrow the government again!"
SMITH
"Oh Lordy...are we going to survive his rage, his control over the universe, is they're any hope for mankind?"
BROWN
"Let's just pick this idiot up..."
SMITH
"And save the planet from his carnage?"
PHONE RINGS, SMITH PICKS UP
SMITH
"Detective Smith, may I help you?"
DOCTOR SILVER
"Yes, this is Doctor Silver from Modesto General, so sorry to inform you, but one of your custody holds died this morning."
SMITH
"Who was it?"
SILVER
"It was Jack Miller, with the Hudson Vineyard, crossbow Bear mauling incident!"
SMITH
"Well, I'm sorry to hear, a key witness, too...well thanks Doc, we'll contact the next of kin after we hear from the coroner, thank you for calling..."
DETECTIVE SMITH TURNING TO DETECTIVE BROWN
SMITH
"We'll wasn't that interesting, Jack Miller died last night, so no one is left to testify to what really went down with that crossbow assailant that Sandy Hudson shot in her vineyard."
BROWN
"Well, that's the problem then...I always thought it was self-defense anyway?"
SMITH
"Yea, well the Save the Bears, Animal Planet committees....those people are going to make it look like the Hudson clan had some kind of content, some intent to harm these critters, now you watch...my tech gurus are going to try to pull some shit with their Eco-Trends nonsense...you don't even want to fuck with these assholes...they base all their shit on what is best for the people, the earth...it's sick the way they just come up and assume your property would be best managed under their ownership, some real sick-ass puppies out there..."
BROWN LAUGHING
BROWN
"Let's all rid the urban blight, we must save the planet, now...the wilderness isn't going to make it without your billions of dollars in concern..."
SMITH
"Over our fucking welfare?"
BROWN
"Speaking of saving the planet..."
SMITH
"Yea, let's go on ahead and get the paperwork finished and go pick up our Tom Johnson and his weapons before he attempts to conquer the planet..."
BROWN
"Shall I contact the boy at ATF?"
SMITH
"Sure, let's make it a party!"
(scene switch)
INT: GATOR TAIL RESTAURANT-BRIAN'S OFFICE-9 AM
BRIAN SIGNING SHEETS OF PAYCHECKS, PHONE RINGING, SEE'S JAMES CANNON ON I.D.
BRIAN
"Hey James, how's Sacramento treating you?"
JAMES
"Oh man, it's all good now, it's some wild shit up here, met my Asian girl...remember her?"
BRIAN
"Yes, and yes I'm still envious...you don't just get the hotties, but you get the smart one's, too!"
JAMES
"Leave it to the brothers man, look I'm going to be hanging here a couple of days, but that guy, the cook dude down in Irvine, that guy you helped with putting that Beefy and Porky's thing together with?"
BRIAN
"Yea, what about him?"
JAMES
"I don't know, he's running out of recipes or something, but he wants to tag onto your supply line for gator tail."
BRIAN
"Dude, my supply is limited...I Fed-Ex it in fresh each morning, and I had to buy my hunter's a transfer permit, but how much you think he wants, and why would he be bothering me?"
JAMES
"Fuck, I dunno...probably figures you got organic gators or something..."
BRIAN
"Yea...they're organic all right...suckers all eat from the same swamp...look, I got his number, I'll call him later...anything else, I'm signing paychecks here?"
JAMES
"Yea, could you fill me out one for five-hundred thousand dollars for James Cannon?"
BRIAN
"Really want to get that business going huh?"
JAMES
"No man...I need fucking gas money...cost a fortune dragging my Beemer around up here...look I'll be in touch man..."
BRIAN
"Take care, call me if you want to hang, later!"
(scene switch)
INT: BRIAN'S HOUSE-KITCHEN-10 AM
SANDY TRYING TO FIT DISHES INTO KITCHEN-AID DISHWASHER
CONFUSED WITH ALL THE MULTIPLE WASH ZONES
TALKING TO HERSELF
SANDY
"High temp zone two...what the fuck...high pressure wash compartment...damn...I should just climb in this sucker and take a power shower..."
PHONE RINGS, SHE HOBBLES OVER TO PHONE ON WALL
SANDY
"Hello, Cashman residence?"
UNKNOWN CALLER WITH SCRAMBLED VOICE
"Hello, is the lady of the house home?"
SANDY LOOKING AT CALLER I.D. WHICH JUST SAYS HUGHES AIR-CALL
SANDY
"I don't know who you are, but there is no lady of the house!"
BLOCKED CALLER
Nor will there ever be...you see...I already know who you are...and I know what your all about...so listen, listen very carefully my dear..."
SANDY
"I don't know who this is, but your ass is grass if you think your going to get away with anything!"
BLOCKED CALLER
"It's all in the cards my dear...you simply relinquish the vineyard in your possession and everyone will be happy, everyone gets to live...do you understand me?"
SANDY SLAMMING PHONE DOWN, TALKING TO HERSELF
SANDY
"Fuck these assholes, shove it up their ass..."
PICKING UP PHONE AGAIN, PUSHING "MY OFFICE" ON PHONE MEMORY
BRIAN SEES HIS NUMBER, ANSWERS PHONE
BRIAN
"Hey girl, everything good?"
SANDY
"No Brian, no...listen to me...your more important, you mean more to me than anything in the world...I'm not about to lose you over some stupid controversy over this vineyard...now listen, I got a call, a blocked call from the air or something claiming that they would do harm to you if I didn't give in to their demands..."
BRIAN
"Did you take one of those codeine things, you seem awfully emotional?"
SANDY
"I Love you too much, I'm giving in...you hear me?
BRIAN
"Right...did you take anything?"
SANDY
"No...but that doesn't sound like a bad idea, why?"
BRIAN
"Well technically, I'm part owner of the vineyard now...paying the bills, the taxes, being there for your needs...so unless I say fold, you would personally have to take me to court to force a sale, understand...nothing doing till that first happens...this is California, remember that!"
SANDY
"So what do I do, what do we do, the man sounded like a lunatic?"
BRIAN
"And probably is...look, I have a guy who can trace phone records from anywhere, especially air-phone records, and we will eventually find out exactly who dropped the coin okay?"
SANDY
"Really, just like that?"
BRIAN
"Really, now listen...I usually don't recommend something like this, but go get one of those nice smoked turkey sandwiches I made last night out of the refrigerator...eat it...drink a glass of Port, as in one glass, then take one of your codeine tablets...on the counter in the bathroom...now chase a little ice water on top of that, disconnect the ringer on the phone...see it...press off...and get the fuck off that leg before you become a cripple, understand me?"
SANDY
"Yes sir...my man, I Love you Brian..."
BRIAN
"I Love you, too...now get some rest, I'll see you tonight...bye!"
scene close
SANDY
"Hello, Cashman residence?"
UNKNOWN CALLER WITH SCRAMBLED VOICE
"Hello, is the lady of the house home?"
SANDY LOOKING AT CALLER I.D. WHICH JUST SAYS HUGHES AIR-CALL
SANDY
"I don't know who you are, but there is no lady of the house!"
BLOCKED CALLER
Nor will there ever be...you see...I already know who you are...and I know what your all about...so listen, listen very carefully my dear..."
SANDY
"I don't know who this is, but your ass is grass if you think your going to get away with anything!"
BLOCKED CALLER
"It's all in the cards my dear...you simply relinquish the vineyard in your possession and everyone will be happy, everyone gets to live...do you understand me?"
SANDY SLAMMING PHONE DOWN, TALKING TO HERSELF
SANDY
"Fuck these assholes, shove it up their ass..."
PICKING UP PHONE AGAIN, PUSHING "MY OFFICE" ON PHONE MEMORY
BRIAN SEES HIS NUMBER, ANSWERS PHONE
BRIAN
"Hey girl, everything good?"
SANDY
"No Brian, no...listen to me...your more important, you mean more to me than anything in the world...I'm not about to lose you over some stupid controversy over this vineyard...now listen, I got a call, a blocked call from the air or something claiming that they would do harm to you if I didn't give in to their demands..."
BRIAN
"Did you take one of those codeine things, you seem awfully emotional?"
SANDY
"I Love you too much, I'm giving in...you hear me?
BRIAN
"Right...did you take anything?"
SANDY
"No...but that doesn't sound like a bad idea, why?"
BRIAN
"Well technically, I'm part owner of the vineyard now...paying the bills, the taxes, being there for your needs...so unless I say fold, you would personally have to take me to court to force a sale, understand...nothing doing till that first happens...this is California, remember that!"
SANDY
"So what do I do, what do we do, the man sounded like a lunatic?"
BRIAN
"And probably is...look, I have a guy who can trace phone records from anywhere, especially air-phone records, and we will eventually find out exactly who dropped the coin okay?"
SANDY
"Really, just like that?"
BRIAN
"Really, now listen...I usually don't recommend something like this, but go get one of those nice smoked turkey sandwiches I made last night out of the refrigerator...eat it...drink a glass of Port, as in one glass, then take one of your codeine tablets...on the counter in the bathroom...now chase a little ice water on top of that, disconnect the ringer on the phone...see it...press off...and get the fuck off that leg before you become a cripple, understand me?"
SANDY
"Yes sir...my man, I Love you Brian..."
BRIAN
"I Love you, too...now get some rest, I'll see you tonight...bye!"
scene close
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