Kirk Carter@ WGA Copyright 2013
WINE MAMA (38)
NO GATORS FOR YOU
INT: GATOR TAIL RESTAURANT-BRIAN'S OFFICE-10 AM
BRIAN SHOWS UP AN HOUR LATE
GOES OVER MENU WITH GENERAL MANAGER
STARTS CHECKING E-MAILS ON COMPANY COMPUTER
SEE'S RESPONSE FROM CALIFORNIA DEPARTMENT OF WILDLIFE, ONE FROM THE USDA, AND ANOTHER FROM THE "FRIENDS OF THE ANIMAL PLANET"
OPENING UP THE ONE FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF WILDLIFE, IT JUST SAYS,
"We regret to inform you, but a wildlife habitat would only be considered if it were for educational purposes only. We only allow the raising of certain kinds of fish at this writing, Sincerely, Dale Thomas, Director."
THE NEXT ONE FROM THE USDA
"Dear Mister Cashman, Just a reminder that it is illegal to raise and harvest alligators in the state of California, and that your one-hundred forty-nine dollar gator meat import permit is due up in October."
AND THE LAST ONE FROM THE "FRIENDS OF THE ANIMAL PLANET" JUST SAID
"Is it their fault that they were made from meat...may you rest in hell!"
BRIAN JUST SHAKING HIS HEAD, TALKING TO HIMSELF
BRIAN
"No gators in the pond for me!"
(scene switch)
INT: MODESTO SHERIFF'S OFFICE-DETECTIVE SHELLY SMITH'S OFFICE-11 AM
DETECTIVE SHELLY SMITH GOING NUTS, NOTICING THAT ALL THE RECORDINGS ARE MISSING, TEARING THROUGH THE BACKS OF FILING CABINETS, THROWING CASE FILES ALL OVER THE PLACE
DETECTIVE MARK BROWN SHOWS UP
BROWN
"Hey Shelly, how's everything going...why you tearing the place up?"
SMITH
"Where in the hell is all my shit...now you better say you moved it somewhere for safe keeping, cause I'll cut your damn balls off if it's anything else!"
BROWN
"I don't even know what your talking about...go get a chill pill, check that blood sugar..."
SMITH
"Yea, fuck the blood sugar, what's this?"
SHOWING BROWN AN I-PAD
SHE TURNS IT ON SHOWING AN EDITED PLAYBACK OF SURVEILLANCE OF HER OWN OFFICE, CLEARLY SHOWING DETECTIVE BROWN LOADING POUCH WITH VARIOUS RECORDED MEDIA
BROWN SMIRKING
BROWN
"What do you want me to say...I was doing a little housecleaning, it was making me nervous...having all that stuff just hanging around...so I took the offensive approach and moved it off the property, everything is safe and sound..."
SMITH
"Where's it at, where the fuck is it?"
BROWN
"Let's just say...a safe location."
SMITH PULLING HER SERVICE WEAPON AND POINTING IT AT BROWN
SMITH
"What safe location, where is it, I'm not shit'in Mark, don't make me hurt you...I'm not messing around here!"
BROWN
"Hey, be cool with that thing, your going to hurt someone!"
SMITH
"Yea, I'm gonna hurt someone...and it looks like someone in this room, got your ass in my sight...maybe you wanna just go on head and come clean with this shit?"
BROWN
"All right, be cool...it's at my house, locked up safe and sound, you don't need to be freaking out!"
SMITH
"Why don't I believe that, look it was my stuff and would you be digging around my office...I ought to just shoot you and get it over with!"
BROWN
"You might want to rethink that cause...well, just a reminder...we are in a police station..."
(scene switch)
INT: FBI CENTRAL MONITORING-SACRAMENTO
CHIEF OF SURVEILLANCE-LIEUTENANT CHARLIE HARRIS HAS BEEN COLLECTING LIVE AUDIO FEEDS FROM HIDDEN MIKE IN DETECTIVE SMITH'S OFFICE
HE'S GETTING RED FLAGS OVER VOICE PATTERNS, PHRASES, AND VERBIAGE EMANATING FROM HER OFFICE
DECIDES TO CALL IN MODESTO FIELD CREW TO INTERCEDE
HARRIS
"Hey Captain Marcus, ah I have threats being made from Detective Smith's office on monitor four...seems like our mole is being picked on, singled out, I'm detecting threats on his life, I think we need to intervene!"
CAPTAIN MARCUS
"Just call down the hall sir, it's a police station, people are already on site...aren't they?"
HARRIS
"I'm not sure sir...most of the station is empty this time of day...out doing their rounds, I'm also a little concerned about Smith seeing me calling in..."
MARCUS
"Yea, good thinking...look, let me get the boys together, we can be over there in five, thanks!"
HARRIS
"Okay Sir, but it does sound like things are getting desperate over there, a lot of yelling, and all I have is delayed audio, and it's coming from a DSL feed, so it's not perfect..."
MARCUS
"Just do what you can...keep monitoring, whatever you do, keep the tape rolling man, get it all down!
HARRIS
"We'll do sir, standing by!"
(scene switch)
DETECTIVE SMITH'S OFFICE
SMITH
"...And another thing...I helped your ass get into the academy, we dated, you fucked me, and you were my most trusted friend...and now your just getting weird on me...haven't you ever heard of trust?"
BROWN
"Oh yea...I really appreciate everything you did for me...had some really good times, it was all good...so, come on, put the gun down, this is starting to get out of hand, you've made your point!"
SMITH
"I don't know about you...you helping or hurting, trying to tag my ass..."
SMITH HOLDING GUN TO BROWN'S HEAD
BROWN
"Nobody's doing anything, just trying to get along here...hey, you want to get something to eat?"
SMITH
"I'm not hungry, not in the mood to eat, just want my fucking shit back!"
(scene switch)
FBI'S CAPTAIN MARCUS SHOWS UP IN BACK PARKING LOT OF MODESTO SHERIFF'S OFFICE, SEE'S TACTICAL CREW ALREADY ON SITE
MARCUS
"Is tactical ready...I'm thinking we just come in from the rear parking lot...split up around the hall, her office is around the corner?"
TACTICAL OFFICER #1
"Sounds good!"
TACTICAL OFFICER #2
"I have rubber bullets and a tazer, let's assemble!"
MEN START MOVING DOWN HALLWAYS, GUNS DRAWN
(scene switch)
DESK SARGENT JUST BEING NOTIFIED THAT THEY WERE IN THE BUILDING BY MARCUS, PUTTING PHONE DOWN
(scene switch)
SMITH
"You know, it was my fault anyway, I got myself into this...it was just greediness...getting greedy, just want'in a little something on the side, pushing my position, dragging everybody into my shit...man I messed this up!"
(scene switch)
LIEUTENANT HARRIS LISTENING FROM MONITORING POST
(scene switch)
BROWN
"Well...your not a bad person or anything, but you do keep some strange company!"
SMITH
"Like you...or that crazy-ass'ed Zimmerman, Schmidt, Cyncl?"
BROWN
"Well Shelly, Cyncl's not with us anymore..."
SMITH
"Not anymore but...but when he was around...boy, now that was a crazy ass'ed fucker there!"
BROWN
"Yes he did have..."
MARCUS AT DOOR, TAPPING GUN AGAINST WINDOW
MARCUS
"FBI...drop your weapon, put you hands in the air, we've got you completely surrounded!"
SMITH
"You fucker, you turned evidence on me didn't you...didn't you?"
BROWN
"But Shelly..."
SMITH
"You gonna be a squeal-ass'ed fucker...now your going to be a dead squeal ass'ed fucker!"
SMITH FIRES WEAPON, HITTING BROWN IN SHOULDER, THEN BARREL ROLLS TO FLOOR BEHIND HER DESK
TACTICAL SQUAD KICKS IN DOOR, BREAKS OUT SIDE WINDOW
MARCUS
"Come on out Smith, your not going anywhere, come on out...let's see some hands...someone get an ambulance, pull Brown over there, get him out of the way...come on Smith, I don't have all day!"
SILENCE
THEN CLICKING BACK OF HAMMER HEARD
SHE FIRES GUN INTO HER HEAD
OFFICERS START SHOOTING BLINDLY INTO DESK
SILENCE, AS SMOKE RISES FROM BEHIND THE DESK
A POOL OF BLOOD CAN BE SEEN RUNNING DOWN THE FLOOR
TACTICAL OFFICER #1
"Secure area, I'm going around!"
HE SEE'S PART OF DETECTIVE SMITH'S HEAD OVER IN CORNER, HE PAUSES WITH A GAG REFLEX
TACTICAL OFFICER #1
"Looks like...ah...looks like subject is deceased sir!"
MARCUS
"Okay, area clear...fuck, looks like the bitch offed herself..."
TACTICAL OFFICER #2
"Yes sir, close range fire, that's affirmative!
MARCUS
"Great, just great...O'Brian's gonna be thrilled with this..."
(2 HOURS LATER)
EXT: BRIAN'S HOUSE
BRIAN PULLING INTO DRIVEWAY, SEEING SANDY ON HER KNEES PULLING ROSEMARY PLANTS FROM HIS HERB GARDEN
LITTLE PLASTIC BOTTLE OF PORT SITTING TO HER SIDE
LISTENING THROUGH HEADPHONES FROM HER I-POD, "BAD WHAMMA JAMMA" -PLAYING, SHE TURNS WAVING TO BRIAN
SANDY
"Hey boy, how's it shaking...just picking a little Basil for a little Gator roast scalapini, I was going to surprise you with a recipe!"
BRIAN
"Really, well that should be interesting, is this your version?"
SANDY
"No, I dug it out of your menu box, you know I can't cook worth shit, but give me time, I'm going to learn, okay?"
BRIAN
"First thing your gonna do young lady, is learn what herbs look like!"
SANDY
"Whatta you mean?"
BRIAN
"Well the Gator scalapini calls for fresh Basil, so that's why I thought you were doing a spin on something..."
SANDY
"A spin...on what?"
BRIAN
"On the recipe, that is Rosemary you picking, the Basil is over there in the corner!"
SANDY
"Sure you just don't want to blow this off and just take me out?"
BRIAN
"Na, it's been a long day, still trying to get over last night..."
SANDY
"By the way, a guy from the USDA called looking for you, something about farming Gators...can you do that?"
BRIAN
"Apparently not in the state of California, got to keep importing my tail from Louisiana...I mean I was going to ask you about it, farming something over at the vineyard, but..."
SANDY
"So, no Gators for you?"
BRIAN
"No Gator tails from this area anyway!"
SANDY
"I can give you some Gator tail, but I guess your too pooped out...that's too bad!"
BRIAN
"Come here, come here girl..."
SANDY SCREAMING, GETTING UP AND RUNNING INTO HOUSE
BRIAN RUNNING IN BEHIND HER
DOOR SLAMMING SHUT
(scene close)
(scene switch)
INT: MODESTO SHERIFF'S OFFICE-DETECTIVE SHELLY SMITH'S OFFICE-11 AM
DETECTIVE SHELLY SMITH GOING NUTS, NOTICING THAT ALL THE RECORDINGS ARE MISSING, TEARING THROUGH THE BACKS OF FILING CABINETS, THROWING CASE FILES ALL OVER THE PLACE
DETECTIVE MARK BROWN SHOWS UP
BROWN
"Hey Shelly, how's everything going...why you tearing the place up?"
SMITH
"Where in the hell is all my shit...now you better say you moved it somewhere for safe keeping, cause I'll cut your damn balls off if it's anything else!"
BROWN
"I don't even know what your talking about...go get a chill pill, check that blood sugar..."
SMITH
"Yea, fuck the blood sugar, what's this?"
SHOWING BROWN AN I-PAD
SHE TURNS IT ON SHOWING AN EDITED PLAYBACK OF SURVEILLANCE OF HER OWN OFFICE, CLEARLY SHOWING DETECTIVE BROWN LOADING POUCH WITH VARIOUS RECORDED MEDIA
BROWN SMIRKING
BROWN
"What do you want me to say...I was doing a little housecleaning, it was making me nervous...having all that stuff just hanging around...so I took the offensive approach and moved it off the property, everything is safe and sound..."
SMITH
"Where's it at, where the fuck is it?"
BROWN
"Let's just say...a safe location."
SMITH PULLING HER SERVICE WEAPON AND POINTING IT AT BROWN
SMITH
"What safe location, where is it, I'm not shit'in Mark, don't make me hurt you...I'm not messing around here!"
BROWN
"Hey, be cool with that thing, your going to hurt someone!"
SMITH
"Yea, I'm gonna hurt someone...and it looks like someone in this room, got your ass in my sight...maybe you wanna just go on head and come clean with this shit?"
BROWN
"All right, be cool...it's at my house, locked up safe and sound, you don't need to be freaking out!"
SMITH
"Why don't I believe that, look it was my stuff and would you be digging around my office...I ought to just shoot you and get it over with!"
BROWN
"You might want to rethink that cause...well, just a reminder...we are in a police station..."
(scene switch)
INT: FBI CENTRAL MONITORING-SACRAMENTO
CHIEF OF SURVEILLANCE-LIEUTENANT CHARLIE HARRIS HAS BEEN COLLECTING LIVE AUDIO FEEDS FROM HIDDEN MIKE IN DETECTIVE SMITH'S OFFICE
HE'S GETTING RED FLAGS OVER VOICE PATTERNS, PHRASES, AND VERBIAGE EMANATING FROM HER OFFICE
DECIDES TO CALL IN MODESTO FIELD CREW TO INTERCEDE
HARRIS
"Hey Captain Marcus, ah I have threats being made from Detective Smith's office on monitor four...seems like our mole is being picked on, singled out, I'm detecting threats on his life, I think we need to intervene!"
CAPTAIN MARCUS
"Just call down the hall sir, it's a police station, people are already on site...aren't they?"
HARRIS
"I'm not sure sir...most of the station is empty this time of day...out doing their rounds, I'm also a little concerned about Smith seeing me calling in..."
MARCUS
"Yea, good thinking...look, let me get the boys together, we can be over there in five, thanks!"
HARRIS
"Okay Sir, but it does sound like things are getting desperate over there, a lot of yelling, and all I have is delayed audio, and it's coming from a DSL feed, so it's not perfect..."
MARCUS
"Just do what you can...keep monitoring, whatever you do, keep the tape rolling man, get it all down!
HARRIS
"We'll do sir, standing by!"
(scene switch)
DETECTIVE SMITH'S OFFICE
SMITH
"...And another thing...I helped your ass get into the academy, we dated, you fucked me, and you were my most trusted friend...and now your just getting weird on me...haven't you ever heard of trust?"
BROWN
"Oh yea...I really appreciate everything you did for me...had some really good times, it was all good...so, come on, put the gun down, this is starting to get out of hand, you've made your point!"
SMITH
"I don't know about you...you helping or hurting, trying to tag my ass..."
SMITH HOLDING GUN TO BROWN'S HEAD
BROWN
"Nobody's doing anything, just trying to get along here...hey, you want to get something to eat?"
SMITH
"I'm not hungry, not in the mood to eat, just want my fucking shit back!"
(scene switch)
FBI'S CAPTAIN MARCUS SHOWS UP IN BACK PARKING LOT OF MODESTO SHERIFF'S OFFICE, SEE'S TACTICAL CREW ALREADY ON SITE
MARCUS
"Is tactical ready...I'm thinking we just come in from the rear parking lot...split up around the hall, her office is around the corner?"
TACTICAL OFFICER #1
"Sounds good!"
TACTICAL OFFICER #2
"I have rubber bullets and a tazer, let's assemble!"
MEN START MOVING DOWN HALLWAYS, GUNS DRAWN
(scene switch)
DESK SARGENT JUST BEING NOTIFIED THAT THEY WERE IN THE BUILDING BY MARCUS, PUTTING PHONE DOWN
(scene switch)
SMITH
"You know, it was my fault anyway, I got myself into this...it was just greediness...getting greedy, just want'in a little something on the side, pushing my position, dragging everybody into my shit...man I messed this up!"
(scene switch)
LIEUTENANT HARRIS LISTENING FROM MONITORING POST
(scene switch)
BROWN
"Well...your not a bad person or anything, but you do keep some strange company!"
SMITH
"Like you...or that crazy-ass'ed Zimmerman, Schmidt, Cyncl?"
BROWN
"Well Shelly, Cyncl's not with us anymore..."
SMITH
"Not anymore but...but when he was around...boy, now that was a crazy ass'ed fucker there!"
BROWN
"Yes he did have..."
MARCUS AT DOOR, TAPPING GUN AGAINST WINDOW
MARCUS
"FBI...drop your weapon, put you hands in the air, we've got you completely surrounded!"
SMITH
"You fucker, you turned evidence on me didn't you...didn't you?"
BROWN
"But Shelly..."
SMITH
"You gonna be a squeal-ass'ed fucker...now your going to be a dead squeal ass'ed fucker!"
SMITH FIRES WEAPON, HITTING BROWN IN SHOULDER, THEN BARREL ROLLS TO FLOOR BEHIND HER DESK
TACTICAL SQUAD KICKS IN DOOR, BREAKS OUT SIDE WINDOW
MARCUS
"Come on out Smith, your not going anywhere, come on out...let's see some hands...someone get an ambulance, pull Brown over there, get him out of the way...come on Smith, I don't have all day!"
SILENCE
THEN CLICKING BACK OF HAMMER HEARD
SHE FIRES GUN INTO HER HEAD
OFFICERS START SHOOTING BLINDLY INTO DESK
SILENCE, AS SMOKE RISES FROM BEHIND THE DESK
A POOL OF BLOOD CAN BE SEEN RUNNING DOWN THE FLOOR
TACTICAL OFFICER #1
"Secure area, I'm going around!"
HE SEE'S PART OF DETECTIVE SMITH'S HEAD OVER IN CORNER, HE PAUSES WITH A GAG REFLEX
TACTICAL OFFICER #1
"Looks like...ah...looks like subject is deceased sir!"
MARCUS
"Okay, area clear...fuck, looks like the bitch offed herself..."
TACTICAL OFFICER #2
"Yes sir, close range fire, that's affirmative!
MARCUS
"Great, just great...O'Brian's gonna be thrilled with this..."
(2 HOURS LATER)
EXT: BRIAN'S HOUSE
BRIAN PULLING INTO DRIVEWAY, SEEING SANDY ON HER KNEES PULLING ROSEMARY PLANTS FROM HIS HERB GARDEN
LITTLE PLASTIC BOTTLE OF PORT SITTING TO HER SIDE
LISTENING THROUGH HEADPHONES FROM HER I-POD, "BAD WHAMMA JAMMA" -PLAYING, SHE TURNS WAVING TO BRIAN
SANDY
"Hey boy, how's it shaking...just picking a little Basil for a little Gator roast scalapini, I was going to surprise you with a recipe!"
BRIAN
"Really, well that should be interesting, is this your version?"
SANDY
"No, I dug it out of your menu box, you know I can't cook worth shit, but give me time, I'm going to learn, okay?"
BRIAN
"First thing your gonna do young lady, is learn what herbs look like!"
SANDY
"Whatta you mean?"
BRIAN
"Well the Gator scalapini calls for fresh Basil, so that's why I thought you were doing a spin on something..."
SANDY
"A spin...on what?"
BRIAN
"On the recipe, that is Rosemary you picking, the Basil is over there in the corner!"
SANDY
"Sure you just don't want to blow this off and just take me out?"
BRIAN
"Na, it's been a long day, still trying to get over last night..."
SANDY
"By the way, a guy from the USDA called looking for you, something about farming Gators...can you do that?"
BRIAN
"Apparently not in the state of California, got to keep importing my tail from Louisiana...I mean I was going to ask you about it, farming something over at the vineyard, but..."
SANDY
"So, no Gators for you?"
BRIAN
"No Gator tails from this area anyway!"
SANDY
"I can give you some Gator tail, but I guess your too pooped out...that's too bad!"
BRIAN
"Come here, come here girl..."
SANDY SCREAMING, GETTING UP AND RUNNING INTO HOUSE
BRIAN RUNNING IN BEHIND HER
DOOR SLAMMING SHUT
(scene close)
I can't post this what's wrong!
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