Kirk Carter@ WGA Copyright 2014
WINE MAMA (92)
TASTER'S CHOICE
INT: COLUMBUS WINERY-PRODUCTION ROOM-3 A.M.
BILL WARD'S GRAVEYARD SHIFT HARD AT WORK TRYING TO GET ALL OF BRIAN'S WINE BOTTLED UP AND BOXED
ANTONIO (Lead Foreman)
"Have we tested in the last hundred bottles?
FELIPE
"No, no...I haven't, are you concerned about something?"
ANTONIO
"This is fresh distillation, we don't know the quality, it's only settled for day, can't figure how much Brandy we mixed, this stuff could go through the roof if we didn't kill the starter...the yeasting could take us over the limit..."
FELIPE
It's a little late to worry about what the Hydrometer says, we're already at eight thousand two hundred and sixty eight bottles...what ever got bottled up, it will be our..."
ANTONIO
"Our own little secret?"
FELIPE
"Something like that, wanna just taste it and get an impression?"
ANTONIO
"Sure, why not?"
(1 Hour Later)
ANTONIO AND FELIPE ARE SITTING ON FLOOR LAYING AGAINST FEEDER TANK WHICH HASN'T BEEN REPLENISHED AND IS TRYING TO FILL UP EMPTY BOTTLES
BOTH OF THEM ARE SEVERELY INEBRIATED
ANTONIO LAYS ON HIS SIDE, HOLDING HIS HEAD UP WITH HIS HAND
ANTONIO
"Hey Amigos, that shit kicked my duckus...you okay?"
FELIPE
"No, no I'm not okay...are we having an earthquake...cause tank is moving around?"
ANTONIO
"The earthquake...it's in your head...feels like I'm hallucinating, we need to add maybe some water or it will melt the glass or something!"
FELIPE FINALLY STANDS UP AND MAKES HIS WAY OVER TO THE VAT AND STARTS PUMPING WINE THROUGH A SIEVE FILTER, THEN TO THE FEEDER TANK
ANTONIO TAKES SAMPLE WITH THE HYDROMETER
READS THE DEVICE
ANTONIO
"Fuck, I'm at one hundred and twenty proof, think anyone will notice?"
FELIPE
"I noticed, you noticed, and if anything you could use this as starter fluid..."
ANTONIO
"Are if you had a project, like to remove paint..."
FELIPE
"Or start a fire on wet wood, yea...all kinds of uses...but if you drink it..."
ANTONIO
"Make sure you bring your fucking ice cubes man, bring the damn cubes!"
FELIPE
"They wouldn't last too long, but at least if you spilled any of this on the floor...
ANTONIO
"You wouldn't burn a damn hole in it!"
BOTH LAUGHING AS THEY SLIP DOWN TO THE FLOOR AGAIN
(3 Hours Later)
BILL WARD SHOWS UP EARLY TO CHECK ON HIS LITTLE PRODUCTION TEAM
SEE'S THEM BOTH PASSED OUT ON FLOOR
ABOUT FIVE-HUNDRED BOTTLES SITTING IN THE RECEIVER ALREADY FILLED UP
MACHINE HAS ALREADY CYCLED SO LONG THAT HE FINDS THE CIRCUIT BREAKERS HAVE ALL POPPED OFF ON THE PUMP FEEDS
HE WAKES THEM UP BY THROWING A BUCKET OF COLD WATER ON THEM
BILL WARD
"What are you guys doing....are you two drunk or something?"
ANTONIO
"Sorry Mister Ward, but we tasted some of that wine to see if it was right and we got carried away!"
BILL WARD
"Well, I can't have you guys doing that...you know the rules, not only that but it's dangerous, what if something caught fire, and look at all the time you've wasted..."
FELIPE
"I'm sorry, we were measuring with the hydrometer and this mix got carried away, almost a hundred and thirty proof and..."
ANTONIO
"We were trying to bring it down and we just kept sipping..."
BILL LAUGHING
"Yea, I've done that a few times, especially with Port...if you let it get away from you it will drive you crazy trying to fix it!"
FELIPE
"Not to mention, it get's you mucho fucked up!"
BILL
"So, is it good now...does it have good taste?"
ANTONIO
"It's delicious, but it kicks like a mule, really sneaks up on you!"
BILL
"Well, that's what Cashman wanted...his little dream came true...but I still think I ought to kick you guys to the curb!"
FELIPE
"No, please...give us another try, it won't happen again, it's just that I really don't have any other place to go...please Mister Bill, it just took us by surprise, this is only the second time we've even fooled with Port...please?"
BILL
"Well, what's done has been done, so I hope you learned something from the experience anyway...so which bottles are hot?"
FELIPE AND ANTONIO LOOKING AT EACH OTHER
ANTONIO
"I don't really know...we had already cased it up before we started diluting...if we hadn't checked..."
FELIPE
"If we hadn't checked it would all be hot...but it changed probably around three in the morning...but I can't be sure!"
BILL
"There's not much I can do right now, just take our chances cause I don't have any extra bottles right now, and I told Cashman we would have everything ready to be picked up this afternoon, we still have Thomson to get started on and then the Greeley's wanted me to go pick up their stash and start dethatching and cleaning it up."
ANTONIO
"So, what do you when this happens?"
BILL
"Not much to do, just cross our fingers?"
FELIPE
One thing for sure?"
BILL
"What's that?"
FELIPE
"Someone out there going to run into some hot bottles and have a real good time...that shit's gonna kick someone's ass!"
EVERYBODY LAUGHING
(scene switch)
GATORTAIL RESTAURANT-BRYAN'S OFFICE-MONDAY-10 A.M.
BRYAN TALKING TO BILL WARD ON PHONE
BILL
"So, we've got your wine finished...busted our tail, but we got it done!"
BRYAN
"That's amazing how you pulled that off, can't wait to try the final product...it's a dream come true for me, Bill...I must admit, despite all the bullshit and interference you are a man of your word, can't thank you enough for everything..."
BILL
"That's what we're here for, I'm just glad we were able to catch this is time...I was getting nervous when it started turning, but we caught it in time...did you have a place you want to truck this to, cause I'll call my driver up and bring it out to you, need to make room for a client I have coming in this afternoon?"
BRYAN
"What was the total on the output anyway?"
BILL
"We came to one thousand and two-hundred and fifty cases, right at about fifteen thousand liter bottles...would have been more if they hadn't tried stealing it, I'm still amazed that we were able to save that much?"
BRYAN
"Yea, that was too weird, like an act of God..."
BILL
"I swear Byann, you have to be the luckiest man I know, do you do lottery numbers, too?"
BRYAN
"No, but maybe I should try a few and see what happens...well, look...I guess I could keep them over in the barn, but it's not the most secure location...do you have any secured warehouses I could rent or something?"
BILL
"Yea, but if your going to start distributing it, maybe just get a guard, maybe some security dogs, cause if your going to need to access it, these warehouses are more trouble than they're worth...it's more like for long term storage...sounds to me you want to move this stuff?"
BRYAN
"The way Sandy is confirming orders, it will all be gone in a week, the girl is freaking amazing the way she can close a deal, yea...will it fit on one trailer or what?"
BILL
"About a trailer and a half, so just bring it out to your winery...say about lunch cause I"m running short on space here?"
BRYAN
"Sounds good to me, you need any help?"
BILL
"No, just Philipe and Antonio and a pallet jack, and we should be able to knock it out pretty quick!"
BRYAN
"See you then, bye!"
SANDY WALKS IN OFFICE
SANDY
"What's the big smile for, look like you just won the lottery?"
BRYAN
"Yea, in a sense I just did...Bill Ward just called, all the wine is bottled and cased up, he delivering it to the barn over at the vineyards around noon."
SANDY
"Why there, you don't have a warehouse or something?"
BRYAN
"Availability Hon, I mean you almost sold it all before we even got it in the bottles...we'll be going in and out anyway and Bill thought that putting it in a warehouse wasn't a good idea."
SANDY
"Well, maybe I could pack a picnic basket and we could do a little taste testing, so what we've got here!"
BRYAN
"That's a great idea, cause we don't have any food at the vineyard...haven't been over there in a while anyway..."
(Six Hours Later)
AFTER BILL DELIVERED ALL THE CASES OF WINE TO THE BARN
BRYAN AND SANDY OPENED UP ONE OF THE CASES AND TASTED THE PORT VODKA
HOWEVER, THE CASE THEY DECIDED TO TRY JUST HAPPENED TO BE ONE OF THE "HOT" ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY PROOF BOTTLES
THEY ARE BOTH HAMMERED JUST LAYING ON THE FLOOR OF THE BARN
SANDY
"I don't know about you, but that's some of the strongest shit I think I've ever drank!"
BRYAN
"Yea, that seemed a lot more than a hundred proof..."
SANDY
"Crap the ice cubes are trying to jump out of the glass when you put them in...however it's really good...you've got a hit on your hands, I'm so proud of you!"
BRYAN
"I'm proud of both of us for hanging in there..."
SANDY
"Shall we celebrate with a little lovey-dovy?"
BRYAN
"I would, but I can't feel anything...I don't think I can get it up?"
SANDY
"Let me see if I can help you..."
BRYAN
"This is the first time this has ever happened?"
SANDY
"That's your Wine Mama, keeping them down on the farm!"
BRYAN
"Nothing..."
SANDY
"Yea, it's just lifeless...it just went to sleep...next time let's try diluting it a little."
BRYAN
"Definitely...care for and nap, and we'll try a again in an hour or two?"
SANDY
"Yea because I just realised something?"
BRYAN
"What?"
SANDY
"I can't even feel myself down there..."
BRYAN
"Have a good nap Sandy!"
SANDY
"You too big boy!"
scene close
"What are you guys doing....are you two drunk or something?"
ANTONIO
"Sorry Mister Ward, but we tasted some of that wine to see if it was right and we got carried away!"
BILL WARD
"Well, I can't have you guys doing that...you know the rules, not only that but it's dangerous, what if something caught fire, and look at all the time you've wasted..."
FELIPE
"I'm sorry, we were measuring with the hydrometer and this mix got carried away, almost a hundred and thirty proof and..."
ANTONIO
"We were trying to bring it down and we just kept sipping..."
BILL LAUGHING
"Yea, I've done that a few times, especially with Port...if you let it get away from you it will drive you crazy trying to fix it!"
FELIPE
"Not to mention, it get's you mucho fucked up!"
BILL
"So, is it good now...does it have good taste?"
ANTONIO
"It's delicious, but it kicks like a mule, really sneaks up on you!"
BILL
"Well, that's what Cashman wanted...his little dream came true...but I still think I ought to kick you guys to the curb!"
FELIPE
"No, please...give us another try, it won't happen again, it's just that I really don't have any other place to go...please Mister Bill, it just took us by surprise, this is only the second time we've even fooled with Port...please?"
BILL
"Well, what's done has been done, so I hope you learned something from the experience anyway...so which bottles are hot?"
FELIPE AND ANTONIO LOOKING AT EACH OTHER
ANTONIO
"I don't really know...we had already cased it up before we started diluting...if we hadn't checked..."
FELIPE
"If we hadn't checked it would all be hot...but it changed probably around three in the morning...but I can't be sure!"
BILL
"There's not much I can do right now, just take our chances cause I don't have any extra bottles right now, and I told Cashman we would have everything ready to be picked up this afternoon, we still have Thomson to get started on and then the Greeley's wanted me to go pick up their stash and start dethatching and cleaning it up."
ANTONIO
"So, what do you when this happens?"
BILL
"Not much to do, just cross our fingers?"
FELIPE
One thing for sure?"
BILL
"What's that?"
FELIPE
"Someone out there going to run into some hot bottles and have a real good time...that shit's gonna kick someone's ass!"
EVERYBODY LAUGHING
(scene switch)
GATORTAIL RESTAURANT-BRYAN'S OFFICE-MONDAY-10 A.M.
BRYAN TALKING TO BILL WARD ON PHONE
BILL
"So, we've got your wine finished...busted our tail, but we got it done!"
BRYAN
"That's amazing how you pulled that off, can't wait to try the final product...it's a dream come true for me, Bill...I must admit, despite all the bullshit and interference you are a man of your word, can't thank you enough for everything..."
BILL
"That's what we're here for, I'm just glad we were able to catch this is time...I was getting nervous when it started turning, but we caught it in time...did you have a place you want to truck this to, cause I'll call my driver up and bring it out to you, need to make room for a client I have coming in this afternoon?"
BRYAN
"What was the total on the output anyway?"
BILL
"We came to one thousand and two-hundred and fifty cases, right at about fifteen thousand liter bottles...would have been more if they hadn't tried stealing it, I'm still amazed that we were able to save that much?"
BRYAN
"Yea, that was too weird, like an act of God..."
BILL
"I swear Byann, you have to be the luckiest man I know, do you do lottery numbers, too?"
BRYAN
"No, but maybe I should try a few and see what happens...well, look...I guess I could keep them over in the barn, but it's not the most secure location...do you have any secured warehouses I could rent or something?"
BILL
"Yea, but if your going to start distributing it, maybe just get a guard, maybe some security dogs, cause if your going to need to access it, these warehouses are more trouble than they're worth...it's more like for long term storage...sounds to me you want to move this stuff?"
BRYAN
"The way Sandy is confirming orders, it will all be gone in a week, the girl is freaking amazing the way she can close a deal, yea...will it fit on one trailer or what?"
BILL
"About a trailer and a half, so just bring it out to your winery...say about lunch cause I"m running short on space here?"
BRYAN
"Sounds good to me, you need any help?"
BILL
"No, just Philipe and Antonio and a pallet jack, and we should be able to knock it out pretty quick!"
BRYAN
"See you then, bye!"
SANDY WALKS IN OFFICE
SANDY
"What's the big smile for, look like you just won the lottery?"
BRYAN
"Yea, in a sense I just did...Bill Ward just called, all the wine is bottled and cased up, he delivering it to the barn over at the vineyards around noon."
SANDY
"Why there, you don't have a warehouse or something?"
BRYAN
"Availability Hon, I mean you almost sold it all before we even got it in the bottles...we'll be going in and out anyway and Bill thought that putting it in a warehouse wasn't a good idea."
SANDY
"Well, maybe I could pack a picnic basket and we could do a little taste testing, so what we've got here!"
BRYAN
"That's a great idea, cause we don't have any food at the vineyard...haven't been over there in a while anyway..."
(Six Hours Later)
AFTER BILL DELIVERED ALL THE CASES OF WINE TO THE BARN
BRYAN AND SANDY OPENED UP ONE OF THE CASES AND TASTED THE PORT VODKA
HOWEVER, THE CASE THEY DECIDED TO TRY JUST HAPPENED TO BE ONE OF THE "HOT" ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY PROOF BOTTLES
THEY ARE BOTH HAMMERED JUST LAYING ON THE FLOOR OF THE BARN
SANDY
"I don't know about you, but that's some of the strongest shit I think I've ever drank!"
BRYAN
"Yea, that seemed a lot more than a hundred proof..."
SANDY
"Crap the ice cubes are trying to jump out of the glass when you put them in...however it's really good...you've got a hit on your hands, I'm so proud of you!"
BRYAN
"I'm proud of both of us for hanging in there..."
SANDY
"Shall we celebrate with a little lovey-dovy?"
BRYAN
"I would, but I can't feel anything...I don't think I can get it up?"
SANDY
"Let me see if I can help you..."
BRYAN
"This is the first time this has ever happened?"
SANDY
"That's your Wine Mama, keeping them down on the farm!"
BRYAN
"Nothing..."
SANDY
"Yea, it's just lifeless...it just went to sleep...next time let's try diluting it a little."
BRYAN
"Definitely...care for and nap, and we'll try a again in an hour or two?"
SANDY
"Yea because I just realised something?"
BRYAN
"What?"
SANDY
"I can't even feel myself down there..."
BRYAN
"Have a good nap Sandy!"
SANDY
"You too big boy!"
scene close
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