Wine Mama (100) Higher Ground

Kirk Carter@ WGA Copyright 2014

WINE MAMA (100)

HIGHER GROUND

INT: GATORTAIL RESTAURANT-KITCHEN-FRIDAY-8 A.M.

BRIAN AND SANDY RUNNING THE KITCHEN FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS WHILE JOHN (HEAD COOK AND GENERAL MANAGER) AND HIS ASSISTANT AMANDA GET MARRIED

THIS IS THEY'RE FIRST TIME THEY'VE WORKED TOGETHER FOR OVER A YEAR

BRYAN PUTTING TOMATOES INTO JAMBALAYA, SANDY DEVEINING SHRIMP

JOHN AND AMANDA DROP IN ON THE KITCHEN COUPLE

BRYAN

"Hey Love birds...what's the visit for, thought you'd be doing a little sleeping in?"

JOHN

"No, we check up on you, make sure you don't tear up kitchen...we try you out for a couple of days...see if you work out, give you bus fair to leave town!"

SANDY HOLDING KNIFE BACKWARDS

"Yea, see this...I can't seem to cut anything with this crappy old knife, it just keeps making my hand bleed!"

JOHN

"Do like I do...just throw it at the food...it cut by itself!"

AMANDA

"I'm so nervous, we have like everybody coming in today...haven't seen some of my relatives in years, hope I hold up..."

JOHN

"My relatives take crazy Mexican bus over here, and like Cheech and Chong take immigration bus back home for free!"

BRYAN HANDING JOHN A GIFT

"Here's something for your wedding...it's a six-pack of condoms, some k-y jelly, and a bun warmer...so when you get a bun in the oven..."

SANDY

"You can keep it warm...I want to see lot's of baby's, too...whole gang of them!" 

JOHN

"Yea, how come you two ain't got a bun to keep warm...you go at it like Bunny's on crack?"

BRYAN

"Right before I peak, I hold my breath!"

AMANDA

"How does that work?"

SANDY

"It actually doesn't...it's just the response he gets when I squeeze his balls!"

JOHN

"So, you two going to be okay by yourselves, you not burn the sauce, scorch Gator...make sure to turn flame off when you through, save Bossy man from yelling about you wasting money!"

BRYAN

"I think we'll work out..."

SANDY

"Yea, thanks for dropping by though...now go out there and make headlines you two!"

EVERYBODY HUGGING

SAYING GOOD BYE AND LEAVING

AS THEY LEAVE, SANDY AND BRYAN TURN TO EACH OTHER AND EMBRACE

BRYAN

"You know, we are indeed blessed..."

SANDY

"You bet...the Higher Power has pushed forth and has blessed us in more ways than I can count.

BOTH GETTING BACK TO THEIR KITCHEN PREP

BRYAN

"I still can't believe you won all that money..."

SANDY

"Almost a million dollars...like nine hundred and fifty....

BRYAN

"And after taxes?"

SANDY

"About nine dollars and fifty cents!"

BRYAN

"So what you feel like doing for next year's harvest?"

SANDY

"I don't know why your asking me, your the big he-man around here, the one who must conquer, no one dare not stand in your way or you will crush them...I dunno sweetie, what are you getting at?"

BRYAN

"What do you think about picking up some more acreage?"

SANDY

"I'm way ahead on that kind of thinking...I checked with your illustrious attorney friend and he said that we could get a pretty healthy tax break if it was our primary residence, too!

BRYAN

"Is the Port license transferable...I mean it is Grandfathered in from your inheritance?"

SANDY

"According to him, and these crazy assed California production rules, it's all or not...or naught as you like to say...you can transfer it in whole to a specific property assuming the title originates from the same family, no...you can't split it, leave it behind, or give it to someone else!"

BRYAN

"What if something happens to you...like a rabid Squirrel gets you and tries to knaw your nipples off or a deranged Gopher tries to climb into your Bush and refuses to leave...it could happen?"

SANDY

"You know, with all the shit that has happened in the last couple of years...nothing surprises me Mister Cashman...but to answer the question, doctrines and titles of that sort are all considered community property...just like you!"

BRYAN

"What's like me?"

SANDY

"Your my community property...if I get greedy and want you offed, like if you stop putting out, performing seconds,  or you really piss me off and change deodorants, or something, then I'll have plenty of reserve cash to pay the hit-man for his services!" 

BRYAN

"I could have the security Bear's just eat you!"

SANDY

"I could talk John into making you into a meat loaf!"

BRYAN

"We don't even serve meat loaf..."

SANDY

"It would be a special...remember the Gator egg omelets...all I'd have to say is Gator loaf and the customers would come a running...eat every little piece of you...not a crumb left either!

BRYAN

"Why, I would put you in a grinder, with some flour, baking soda, and some confectioners sugar and bake your ass up into little sweet bread sticks that looked like mini Gator tails..."

SANDY

"Oh yea...well what would you call those?"

BRYAN

  Randy Sandy's...I'd even over work the dough, just to piss you off!"

THEY START WRESTLING AND SOON TURN OVER A POT OF BROTH ONTO THE FLOOR 

DIANA, ONE OF THE WAITRESSES COMES IN

"Hey kids, everything all right in here...let's not tear the place up till the boss gets back!"

SANDY LAUGHING

"But Diana...he wants to turn me into cookies!"

BRYAN

"She's threatening to turn me into a meat loaf...

DIANA

"I think you two need to get a room...but seriously...we're open till ten tonight, and you are the principal cooks...so do all the wait staff a favor, you don't have to like each other, just tolerate,  try to cook well and be timely with the orders, unlike you, we work on tips...this is how we eat, so above all else...at least pretend to be happy...please?"

BRYAN AND SANDY TOGETHER

"Yess....Maam!"

scene close