Kirk Carter@ WGA Copyright 2014
WINE MAMA (97)
LOSING THEIR HEADS
EXT: CASHMAN VINEYARDS-BY THE BACK STREAM-7 A.M.
DETECTIVE MATT BROWN AND OFFICER DAN HUDSON HAVE RESUMED EVIDENCE SEARCH REGARDING THE ATTEMPTED ARSON ON BRYAN CASHMAN'S BARN, WITH BLOODHOUNDS IN TOW
DETECTIVE MATT BROWN
"This is really odd, I've got tracks coming from across the street, down along the stream, up to Cashman's house, then a double-back, and then nothing..."
OFFICER DAN HUDSON
"Like they were sucked up by aliens or something!"
BROWN
"Yea, the aliens got 'em...let me just write that down under final conclusions on my field report and see how far that gets us?"
HUDSON
"Yea, I see what you mean..how about rewording it...creatures we don't understand?"
BROWN
"How about spending the rest of your life saying, "You want fries with that?"
HUDSON
"Well, looking down over here, right at the lip of the water, there sure looks like a ruckus took place...see how the bottom of the stream is all tore up, that looks like Bear tracks...maybe a couple..."
BROWN
"Yea, according to the guard, they're were two guys, and they both turned and ran back down here, but then what...he did say he heard some growling and screaming, but the Bear's either dragged them away, or would at least leave something behind, anything!"
HUDSON
"It wouldn't take long for critter's to come along and clean up, and the stream just washed everything away.
LOOKING DOWN DETECTIVE BROWN SEE'S THE GATOR TRACKS
"Hey Dan, what kind of tracks are these?"
BROWN
"Wow, that almost looks like Alligator tracks, but that couldn't be...there aren't any Gators in Central California that I know of?"
HUDSON
"Unless of course, you happen to be in the business of selling things Gator related...like Bryan Cashman?"
BROWN
"Pure speculation...that could be anything...all I know is those tracks are fresh, and they disappear down into the stream, the Bear tracks come back out of the water going east, then go back into the water, and I guess at some point they go back on land into the forest...like a pin in a hay pile."
HUDSON
"Well, even the dogs seem messed up...they ran over here, then over there, doubled back, chased some innocent squirrel around till the damn thing nearly had a heart attack...then they just looked perplexed, moaned at the trees, and then just lay'ed down...not a good sign!"
DETECTIVE BROWN'S RADIO GOES OFF
"Break, break...Detective Brown are you on frequency, dispatch calling, ten-four?"
BROWN
"Affirmative Glenda, what you got, ten-four?"
GLENDA (DISPATCHER)
"Yea Matt, we just got back verification on those prints from the car, which by the way was shown to be stolen out of Torrance, California, about a week ago...ah anyway the prints came up, they belong to a Tony Redland, twenty-eight out of Compton, and a Poco Tomana, twenty-six out of Pomona, California...both of them served various sentences and were listed fresh out of the Chino Pen , ten-four?"
BROWN
"Well, that doesn't do much, but it does validate that this was more than likely a professional hit...they weren't just dragging around sixty large in duffel bags for grocery money, ten-four?"
GLENDA
"Yes sir, also that gun came up with a registry in Sacramento and was listed as stolen, ten-four?"
BROWN
"What else is new...this is a dead case if I ever saw one...okay thanks again Glenda...I'm ten-six!"
OFFICER HUDSON
"If we could locate the Bear's or maybe the Gator...
BROWN
"If one exist...think we could make it talk, huh Hudson, are you the resident Doctor Doolittle... can you speak Bear...I mean come on man, even if we did find the Bear's, about all we could verify is that...they were very well fed!"
HUDSON
"I like Bear's when they're well fed!"
BROWN
"Yea, on berry's and bugs, not human flesh, that's out of line...even if the food group could be identified as rodents...come on , let's get back to the office!"
(scene switch)
INT: GATORTAIL RESTAURANT- BRYAN'S OFFICE-9 P.M.
BRYAN IS TALKING TO INSURANCE MAN ON PHONE ABOUT DAMAGES
SANDY DRAWING PURSE DESIGNS ON HER COMPUTER
BRYAN
"Well, I'm assuming it was arson, but the damage is to the back beams of the barn, I'll need to get an estimate before I make a claim...but the only reason I was calling, is to see what my co-pay is set at...couldn't remember, and I can't find the document right now."
BILLY BARNS (CHUBB GROUP)
"Well according to my files, it looks like your in at ten-thousand, do you think you have more damage than that?"
BRYAN
"So that's why I have such a good rate on that place...nah, probably close though...if the estimate comes up over I'll give you a buzz...thanks Billy, bye!"
BRYAN LOOKING OVER AT SANDY
"So, big girl...the contest await...you still going to try entering one?"
SANDY
"Well, you didn't seem too thrilled that I was doing anything, I wasn't going to interject unless spoken to first!"
BRYAN
"What did you expect...the importance of the event sort of took a back seat when people tried torching the property, shooting our guard, and killing his dog...and this Bear thing, what am I suppose to think?"
SANDY
"I told you the Guard Bear's would be a better idea, nobody fucks with the Bear's!"
BRYAN
"Except you...when a Bear gets out of line around you, you just shoot the poor thing!"
SANDY
"Brian...let it go okay, that happened a long time ago and it was an accident, you know that!"
BRYAN
"Poor little Bear, up in Poor Little Baby Bear Heaven...crying to itself, knowing that it never will never grow up to be a Big Bear!"
SANDY
"Stop it...your being mean...I'm not in the mood for this..."
BRYAN
"Okay, I'm sorry...so who's the first privileged connoisseur to sample the great nectar of the Cashman Vineyards...who thou place thy tongue to the carefully crafted Wine Mama?"
SANDY
"So creative with your passionate words, are enough for the Queen to don some swill upon her desirable body for proper worship and cleansing of all desires held within...I have decided that we shall enter the Grand Harvest Awards in Modesto coming up in March...and with that being said, I beg to you...come worship your courtship of your deepest desires, I hand myself to your whim..."
BRYAN
"Yea, that's probably the safest thing to do right now, let me have my way with you...good thinking...the blood has already diverted little late to stop now, keep going...keep going!"
SANDY
"Get your mind off them Bear's...anyway!"
BRYAN
"Bear's...What Bear's?"
SANDY
"That's the spirit, now prove your worth...come to the Queen...satisfy my carnal urges!
BRYAN
"Hey, I thought it was my turn to do the carnal urges today?"
SANDY
"We'll share..."
BRYAN
"Deal!"
scene close
EXT: CASHMAN VINEYARDS-BY THE BACK STREAM-7 A.M.
DETECTIVE MATT BROWN AND OFFICER DAN HUDSON HAVE RESUMED EVIDENCE SEARCH REGARDING THE ATTEMPTED ARSON ON BRYAN CASHMAN'S BARN, WITH BLOODHOUNDS IN TOW
DETECTIVE MATT BROWN
"This is really odd, I've got tracks coming from across the street, down along the stream, up to Cashman's house, then a double-back, and then nothing..."
OFFICER DAN HUDSON
"Like they were sucked up by aliens or something!"
BROWN
"Yea, the aliens got 'em...let me just write that down under final conclusions on my field report and see how far that gets us?"
HUDSON
"Yea, I see what you mean..how about rewording it...creatures we don't understand?"
BROWN
"How about spending the rest of your life saying, "You want fries with that?"
HUDSON
"Well, looking down over here, right at the lip of the water, there sure looks like a ruckus took place...see how the bottom of the stream is all tore up, that looks like Bear tracks...maybe a couple..."
BROWN
"Yea, according to the guard, they're were two guys, and they both turned and ran back down here, but then what...he did say he heard some growling and screaming, but the Bear's either dragged them away, or would at least leave something behind, anything!"
HUDSON
"It wouldn't take long for critter's to come along and clean up, and the stream just washed everything away.
LOOKING DOWN DETECTIVE BROWN SEE'S THE GATOR TRACKS
"Hey Dan, what kind of tracks are these?"
BROWN
"Wow, that almost looks like Alligator tracks, but that couldn't be...there aren't any Gators in Central California that I know of?"
HUDSON
"Unless of course, you happen to be in the business of selling things Gator related...like Bryan Cashman?"
BROWN
"Pure speculation...that could be anything...all I know is those tracks are fresh, and they disappear down into the stream, the Bear tracks come back out of the water going east, then go back into the water, and I guess at some point they go back on land into the forest...like a pin in a hay pile."
HUDSON
"Well, even the dogs seem messed up...they ran over here, then over there, doubled back, chased some innocent squirrel around till the damn thing nearly had a heart attack...then they just looked perplexed, moaned at the trees, and then just lay'ed down...not a good sign!"
DETECTIVE BROWN'S RADIO GOES OFF
"Break, break...Detective Brown are you on frequency, dispatch calling, ten-four?"
BROWN
"Affirmative Glenda, what you got, ten-four?"
GLENDA (DISPATCHER)
"Yea Matt, we just got back verification on those prints from the car, which by the way was shown to be stolen out of Torrance, California, about a week ago...ah anyway the prints came up, they belong to a Tony Redland, twenty-eight out of Compton, and a Poco Tomana, twenty-six out of Pomona, California...both of them served various sentences and were listed fresh out of the Chino Pen , ten-four?"
BROWN
"Well, that doesn't do much, but it does validate that this was more than likely a professional hit...they weren't just dragging around sixty large in duffel bags for grocery money, ten-four?"
GLENDA
"Yes sir, also that gun came up with a registry in Sacramento and was listed as stolen, ten-four?"
BROWN
"What else is new...this is a dead case if I ever saw one...okay thanks again Glenda...I'm ten-six!"
OFFICER HUDSON
"If we could locate the Bear's or maybe the Gator...
BROWN
"If one exist...think we could make it talk, huh Hudson, are you the resident Doctor Doolittle... can you speak Bear...I mean come on man, even if we did find the Bear's, about all we could verify is that...they were very well fed!"
HUDSON
"I like Bear's when they're well fed!"
BROWN
"Yea, on berry's and bugs, not human flesh, that's out of line...even if the food group could be identified as rodents...come on , let's get back to the office!"
(scene switch)
INT: GATORTAIL RESTAURANT- BRYAN'S OFFICE-9 P.M.
BRYAN IS TALKING TO INSURANCE MAN ON PHONE ABOUT DAMAGES
SANDY DRAWING PURSE DESIGNS ON HER COMPUTER
BRYAN
"Well, I'm assuming it was arson, but the damage is to the back beams of the barn, I'll need to get an estimate before I make a claim...but the only reason I was calling, is to see what my co-pay is set at...couldn't remember, and I can't find the document right now."
BILLY BARNS (CHUBB GROUP)
"Well according to my files, it looks like your in at ten-thousand, do you think you have more damage than that?"
BRYAN
"So that's why I have such a good rate on that place...nah, probably close though...if the estimate comes up over I'll give you a buzz...thanks Billy, bye!"
BRYAN LOOKING OVER AT SANDY
"So, big girl...the contest await...you still going to try entering one?"
SANDY
"Well, you didn't seem too thrilled that I was doing anything, I wasn't going to interject unless spoken to first!"
BRYAN
"What did you expect...the importance of the event sort of took a back seat when people tried torching the property, shooting our guard, and killing his dog...and this Bear thing, what am I suppose to think?"
SANDY
"I told you the Guard Bear's would be a better idea, nobody fucks with the Bear's!"
BRYAN
"Except you...when a Bear gets out of line around you, you just shoot the poor thing!"
SANDY
"Brian...let it go okay, that happened a long time ago and it was an accident, you know that!"
BRYAN
"Poor little Bear, up in Poor Little Baby Bear Heaven...crying to itself, knowing that it never will never grow up to be a Big Bear!"
SANDY
"Stop it...your being mean...I'm not in the mood for this..."
BRYAN
"Okay, I'm sorry...so who's the first privileged connoisseur to sample the great nectar of the Cashman Vineyards...who thou place thy tongue to the carefully crafted Wine Mama?"
SANDY
"So creative with your passionate words, are enough for the Queen to don some swill upon her desirable body for proper worship and cleansing of all desires held within...I have decided that we shall enter the Grand Harvest Awards in Modesto coming up in March...and with that being said, I beg to you...come worship your courtship of your deepest desires, I hand myself to your whim..."
BRYAN
"Yea, that's probably the safest thing to do right now, let me have my way with you...good thinking...the blood has already diverted little late to stop now, keep going...keep going!"
SANDY
"Get your mind off them Bear's...anyway!"
BRYAN
"Bear's...What Bear's?"
SANDY
"That's the spirit, now prove your worth...come to the Queen...satisfy my carnal urges!
BRYAN
"Hey, I thought it was my turn to do the carnal urges today?"
SANDY
"We'll share..."
BRYAN
"Deal!"
scene close
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