Kirk Carter@ WGA Copyright 2014
WINE MAMA (78)
MAMA GOES TO HEAVEN
INT: HUDSON VINEYARDS-MASTER BEDROOM-WED-4 A.M.
BRIAN AND SANDY FROLICKING AROUND ON THE BED
BRIAN DECIDES TO SHOW SANDY A PLAYBACK OF SOMETHING
BRIAN
"Hey, wanted to show you something I found on my Bluetooth...thought you might like to see our next rising star?"
SANDY
"Our next rising what?"
BRIAN
"You'll see, just watch!"
STARTS PLAYBACK OFF SOLID STATE HARD DRIVE OF IMAGES THAT BRIAN'S CAMERA PICKED UP OF SANDY TRYING TO FIND MAMA GATOR, THEN ALMOST GETTING EATEN HERSELF
SANDY
"No way, you had the camera shit set-up out there?"
BRIAN
"Well, it was Bob's idea remember, had it set up the next day...it just sits there till something moves, and it looks like you set it off...look at you with those big rubber boots, that shiny pistol, I mean if I saw you coming up the creek, I would have turned and hauled ass, you just look like trouble."
SANDY
"But, all you can see is my gun, my boots, and my butt walking away from the camera...I can't believe that you were filming this shit?"
BRIAN
"Pretty scary butt shot...but if you ask me, like better kiss this or get your ass shot!"
SANDY
"This is where I get the rock and throw it to the nest!"
WATCHING REPLAY OF MAMA GATOR COMING TOWARDS SANDY
SANDY TEARING RUBBER BOOTS OFF AND RUNNING OUT OF CAMERA FRAME
MAMA GATOR TEARING BOOTS APART
BRIAN AND SANDY LAUGHING
BRIAN
"Girl, that's just too funny, do you realise how close you came to being dinner?"
SANDY
"It might be funny now, but at the..."
SUDDENLY ALARM SOUNDS FROM CONTROLLER
LIVE FEED SHOWS MAMA GATOR MOVING AROUND ON THE NEST IN THE RIVER
BRIAN
"Looks like Mama getting a little active this morning, maybe this is the day she does the egg drop?"
THEY ARE BOTH WATCHING SCREEN WITH INTEREST AS THE NIGHTVISION HEAT SENSES MOST OF THE IMAGE
SANDY
"Well...like I was saying, that's a big ass Gator...especially when your sitting on they're own turf like that..."
BRIAN
"You wouldn't think something that big could be that limber huh?"
SANDY
"Surprised the hell out of me...I be barefooting my ass out of there...so she's moving now, what should we do?"
BRIAN
"To be honest, while we're both over here, it's early in the morning, we need to start making a decision on where we're going with this...I don't like her in a public creek like that, and it's starting to interfere with business, so..."
SANDY
"I've told you that from the git-go, I don't want this future pair of shoes, belts, and purses getting you into any trouble, let's just take care of things while we're all here...you ready?"
BRIAN
"Yea, this should be pretty simple...time to lock and load!"
(1 Hour Later)
WALKING DOWN PATH, BOTH WEARING BOOTS, SANDY WITH HER FORTY-FIVE AND HER POKER STICK WITH THE NAIL IN IT, BRIAN WITH A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN AND SOME ROPE
SANDY
"I hope this is not going to be too big of a deal?"
BRIAN
"Mama Gator is a big deal, no matter how you look at it...give her respect or we will be eaten alive...not the way I want to go anyway?"
SANDY
"I'll second that!"
WALKING UP TO STREAM, BRIAN SHINES FLASHLIGHT TOWARDS NEST, NOTICING THAT MAMA GATOR IS ALREADY DOWN AWAYS, TAKING SLOW STEPS
BRIAN AND SANDY MOVE CLOSER TO INVESTIGATE
BRIAN
"Man, I don't know about this, that overhang, like mangroves...I can't even see her head!"
SANDY
"We've got to see her head, it's not like you can just shoot it in the tail and make any head way?"
BRIAN STARTS JOGGING AHEAD WITH SHOTGUN AND LOOPS OF ROPE IN HAND
BRIAN
"Sandy...get over here on the otherside of that log, the one that's blocking that turn towards the street...if she get's over there, we never will be able to drag her back, that's like an eight-hundred pound Gator there!"
SANDY
"I see what you mean, hold on, I'm coming!"
SHE RUNS OVER TO WHERE LOG HAS FALLEN AND CROSSES ABOUT TWENTY FEET IN FRONT OF MAMA GATOR, AS SHE PURSUES SLOW MOVEMENT TOWARD STREET BRIDGE, BRIAN STOPS AND WAVES SANDY INTO SHOOTING POSITION
SANDY SEE'S HEAD APPEAR FROM UNDER FLORAL CANOPY AND FIRES FORY-FIVE STRIKING MAMA GATOR SQUARLY INTO HEAD, KILLING IT INSTANTLY
BRIAN
"Wow, good shooting girl, you do not play around...do you?"
SANDY NOT SAYING ANYTHING, JUST STEPPING DOWN AND COMING UP TO HER HEAD AND INSPECTING THE WOUND, LOOKING UP
SANDY
"I only had one question, did she bury her eggs or not?"
BRIAN
"Well, I would guess so...even Bob said that once she starts moving, she's probably already laid them...that's what we were told...try to remember, I just cook 'em and serve 'em, I'm still learning about all this how to raise your own Gator crap?"
SANDY
"Well, you want to get this rope going or what?"
BRIAN
"Yea, go get the Rover...use that front winch...at least we can pull her up out of the mud here...I mean if we leave her too long, she's going to sink, so we need to get a move on!"
(15 minutes later)
SANDY PULLS BACK ON THE EDGE OF THE STREAM WITH HER RANGE ROVER AND ACTIVATES THE WINCH, BRIAN STARTS TO PULL OUT STEELS CABLE AND TIES IT TO ROPE
SANDY
"Why don't you do this, I have no experience dragging Gators...personality flaw I guess!"
BRIAN JUMPING IN TRUCK, ENGAGES 4 WHEEL TRACTION, AND PROCEEDS TO BACK OUT DOWN TRAIL WITH MAMA GATOR DRAGGING BY THE TAIL ABOUT 50 FEET BEHIND FRONT BUMPER OF LAND ROVER
FINALLY ENDING UP BY THE BARN, SANDY AND BRIAN JUST STAND AND LOOK AT THIS 10 FOOT MONSTER WITH A HOLE IN IT'S HEAD
BRIAN
"Well, there we go...Louisiana Alligator pre-processed, this should be fun!"
SANDY
"All I know, is that we can't just let her sit out here like..."
BRIAN
"...an animal?"
SANDY
"Yea, like an animal, come on!"
USING THE COME-ALONG MOUNTED ON THE BACK POLE OF THE BARN, BRIAN MANAGES TO SLOWLY DRAG MAMA GATOR INTO BACK OF BARN UP ONTO A MAKE SHIFT TABLE
TAKING A CORDLESS SKILL SAW BRIAN MANAGES TO CUT THE TAIL OFF, BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE
BRIAN
"God, this is like a horror movie, this damn tail got to weigh two-hundred pounds, so whatcha think girl, should we go into the cavity?"
LOOKING UP, HE NOTICES BARN DOOR OPEN, SANDY HAS LEFT
HE WALKS DOWN, SEEING SANDY DOWN BY CREEK BED WITH LITTLE SHOVEL AND POKING STICK, BRIAN COMES OVER AND JOINS HER
SANDY
"Sorry, I just got this weird feeling about all this?"
BRIAN
"Well, did you find the nest, it's right here right?"
SANDY
"I found one little zone here, see this...probably about thirty eggs in there, but I don't see any more bury points...I think she started, then changed her mind, and was trying to go somewhere else..."
BRIAN
"Why would she do something like that?"
SANDY
"Probably temperature, this is north California, not the Louisiana swamp...but I'm assuming she knew that, but then...she was just functioning on Motherly intuition...who knows?"
BRIAN
"There is only one way to know for sure?"
SANDY
"Let's do this..."
GOING BACK TO BARN, THEY PROCEED TO START PEELING LAYERS OF FLESH OFF AND CARVING UP THE MIDSECTION
AS SANDY WORKS HER WAY THROUGH THER INTESTINAL TRACT, SHE COMES UP ON A FULL EGG POUCH WITH ABOUT 30 EGGS IN IT, THEN AS SHE WORKS HER WAY TO THE OTHER OVERY, SHE FINDS ABOUT 40 MORE
SANDY CRYING
"I can't believe this, she had changed her mind, never got a chance to experience Motherhood?"
BRIAN
"Okay, hold on, let's try to keep in mind, you were the one who shot the thing, all of a sudden we've got feelings, I swear I don't think I'll ever be able to figure you guys out?"
SANDY
"No, your right, but what are we suppose to do now?
BRIAN
"First off, I've got my over priced piece of Gator tail, along with a few other trophy's, you've got your skin for the Cobbler dude to make his stuff with...oh yea, make sure he makes me a couple of wallets, too...and finally, we've got about seventy-five eggs for some experimental omlettes, and whatever else I can think up to do with'em!"
SANDY
"Your right, it's just that I wanted to see...
BRIAN
BRIAN
"Come here, it's a Mother's instinct to see other's bring life into the world...I totally understand that...but the Lord giveth, he can taketh it away, just depends on the circustances and the moment...let's not forget, your time will be coming up...try to be strong for us, for all living things, okay?"
BRIAN HOLDING SANDY IN HIS ARMS, BOTH OF THEM SPATTERED WITH GATOR BLOOD, BEADS OF SWEAT COMING FROM HER FOREHEAD
SANDY
"So, what do we do now?"
BRIAN
"Wash off these eggs, seal them up, and get them to the fridge, let's clean the rest of this Gator meat and get that packaged, and roll up this skin, and get this over to Cobbler boy, and you my sweet, are getting a good tub soaking..."
SANDY
"Just me, I think you need a good tub soaking, too?"
BRIAN
"You don't have to blow the surprise, I know I need a good tub soaking, too...but see, I was going to wait for you to get all nice and relaxed, then surprise you by hopping in at the last moment, you see?"
SANDY
"Brian Cashman, if you attempted that we would have no water in the tub, it would be all over the house...I have a better idea, we will dip your ass first, then I will dive off the toilet seat and land on your big dick?"
BRIAN
"Now that would be a feat...doubt you could pull that off on the first try?"
SANDY
"Best two out three?"
BRIAN
"Your on..."
scene close
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