Wine Mama (87) Taking A Leak

Kirk Carter@ WGA Copyright 2014

WINE MAMA (87)

TAKING A LEAK

ENT: BRIAN'S HOUSE-KITCHEN-MONDAY-7 A.M.

BRIAN AND SANDY ARE HAVING BREAKFAST TRYING TO PLAN WHAT IS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE FOR THAT DAY

BRIAN

"I still can't get over how easy you made that sale...I have to hand it to you, caught me completely off guard on that one!"

SANDY

"Caught you off guard, I was expecting to have to go all over the place...and boom, first hit...thought Barbera's eyes were going to pop out of her head!"

BRIAN

"Well, that just goes to show you where quality will get you, made in Modesto, Gator leather is a little hard to get hold of around here...especially with all the fur protesters and Earth-Firsters looming around, I'm surprised they still let us eat meat without a permit!"

SANDY

"Some people just aren't happy unless they're making someone else miserable...it's what they live for!"

BRIAN

"So, what do we have going on today...anything pressing?"

SANDY

"I'll be pressing against you if we don't hurry up and get the hell out of here!"

BRIAN

"About the only thing I was going to do is test a couple of these steamed Gator recipes, with the red potatoes and the cabbage...maybe a little crab boil...John will come in and do his magic and..."

SANDY

"Make it happen, he always fixes something you put together, or has some kind of idea that makes it perfect...we need to give him a raise, he's been through so much!"

BRIAN

"Well, I already have him on a profit sharing program, but it only pays out quarterly."

SANDY

"So, what does he say about that?"

BRIAN

"It's funny, he wants me to keep it in his 401K...but then he wants a real estate trust, then he wants saving bonds, anything that doesn't mess with his salary cap...all that extra income gives him a fat head!"

SANDY

"Equity funding...you know what John needs more than anything?"

BRIAN

"What's that?"

SANDY

"A woman, a frisky girl to put his arms around, to spoil, to spend his life with..."

BRIAN

"Like you as the template?"

SANDY

"Something like that, come on...let's to get going before I get horned up or something!

BRIAN

"Yes Dear..."

(scene switch)

ENT: COLUMBUS WINERY-DISTILLATION ROOM

BILL WARD IS TRANSFERRING THE THIRD DISTILLATION OF BRIAN'S WINE INTO THE RECOVERY TANK AND LETTING IT COOL BEFORE MEASURING THE ALCOHOL CONTENT WITH THE HYDROMETER, HE'S TALKING TO HIS ASSISTANT JULIO

BILL

"I was really surprised that this didn't turn into brandy...it was tart enough, but we lucked out with going to this Malalactic process...caught it just in time!"

JULIO

"Yes Mister Bill, I think we shouldn't wait on the rest...it's right where it should be, but you need to let Mister Cashman know that you think we just start processing all of it, we get the extra crew and just get it done, you think?"

BILL

"I think your right, but we don't have any storage bottles or anything, I'll call him when I get back to the office...keep your eye on things, I'll be back!"

JULIO

"Yes sir, I'll be right here!"

(scene switch)

INT: RON ZIMMERMAN'S HOUSE-MOUNTAIN VIEW, CALIFORNIA

RON IS DISCUSSING A SMOKE AND MIRRORS TYPE THEFT WITH SOME OF HIS CRONIES ON BRIAN'S WINE SUPPLY

ZIMMERMAN

"It's the principal of the thing, I don't need his fucking wine, but I want to prove a point...nobody messes with me, although...I'll tell you what..that Sandy would be a prize worth keeping, she could hang with me anytime!"

CRONY #1 (COSBY)

"Hey boss, so this is personal...so we take him out, get the girl?"

CRONY #2 (TOM)

"Yea, just give us the word...me and the Cos ain't doing nothing today!"

ZIMMERMAN

"Well, that's just it...the word is they haven't processed this yet, just a small batch..."

COSBY

"So, we wait a while and let it cook, bottle it up, and go take the loot, waste this Brian guy, and go get the girl...sound right?"

ZIMMERMAN

"Wish it was all that clear cut, I was sort of thinking in another direction, because if he goes to storage with this in bottles, we never will get that out of that cave that Ward likes to store all his inventory in!"

TOM

"And we don't even know if Cashman is going to transport, we'd have to kill everybody in the plant to haul all that out of there."

COSBY

"We could gas them and tie them up?"

TOM

"How about if we tie them up, then gas them?"

ZIMMERMAN

"Both of you just stop it, like I said...I want to go in another direction, all this stuff your talking about is too labor intensive...you've got to be slick, like smoke and mirrors...while one process is going on, another one is running in the background you see."

COSBY

"I figured you had something going on...that's why you got coin Sir, always using that noodle...I tell ya Tom, the man is like a mental wizard...a machine."

TOM

"Okay Boss, so what's the pitch?"

ZIMMERMAN

"Let's say I get one of my boys from the water and sewage department to answer a complaint regarding a sewage spill or leak on that back of the Columbus, we gain access to the rear of the building and tap into the lines when we think it's coming next to the wall...so we go in, take the wine as it's being drawn back to the holding tanks, and in the mean time we bypass the inputs to the bottling room with a tank of something that looks like wine..."

COSBY

"Like Kool-Aid or something...your fantastic Boss...so when do we do this?"

ZIMMERMAN

"Well, they're already test processing a couple of barrels now, I'm going to wait and see if my inside guy can find out when they're planning to go into full production...if I'm correct, it shouldn't be too long of a wait..."

TOM

"But Boss, we're not going to be able to get everything, how much is there anyway?"

ZIMMERMAN

"Oh, that's okay, we don't need it all, just enough to feel the pain...I want to see Cashman lose his ass on this one, teach him to mess with my ass...I'm figuring about five, maybe six hundred barrels...he can keep the rest as a memento of times that could have been, meanwhile I'll ship his supply oversea and bring it back complete with special labels and off the hook profits...this is one-hundred proof Port Vodka, worth it's wait in gold!"

COSBY

"So, where do you ship it?"

ZIMMERMAN

"I have a friend in Italy who can get me all set up...lots of Vineyards in Italy...I'm going to make some calls."

COSBY

"So, this inside guy, pretty reliable?"

ZIMMERMAN

"Yea, Julio and me go way back...helped him get into the country...kind of owes me a few favors here and there, funny how cooperating people can be when your holding a gun to their head so to speak!"

TOM

"Okay Boss, let me know when your ready?"

ZIMMERMAN

"Thanks guys..."

(scene switch) 

INT: COLUMBUS WINERY-BILL WARD'S OFFICE

BILL FINALLY FINDS TIME TO CALL BRIAN CASHMAN ON PHONE

BILL

"Morning Brian how's everything going at the Gatortail?"

BRIAN

"Wow, that is so weird, I was just getting ready to give you a call...how's the first batch coming along?"

BILL

"Well, better than we thought, but time is of essence...the boys and me are thinking we should start tooling up to go into full production and process the rest...it's right on the cusp and I don't want to risk any souring or inconsistency's, you could be looking at quality control issues if you wait?"

BRIAN

"What about the bottles, are we going to have time to get that much stock?"

BILL

"Well, I can truck some in from Mexico, about two days, but I have plenty of storage in my back tanks, it will be okay for a couple of days...keep in mind we are use'd to doing bigger batches than this...yours is just...well..."

BRIAN

"More intimate?"

BILL

"Yea, good word, anyway...is it a go?"

BRIAN

"Go get 'em, sounds great to me...call me if you need anything?"

(scene switch)

INT: COLUMBUS WINERY-LUNCH ROOM

JULIO LOOKING AROUND, MAKES PHONE CALL TO ZIMMERMAN'S OFFICE

COSBY ANSWERS

"Mister Zimmerman's office, Cosby speaking, who's this?"

JULIO

"Ah...this is Julio, could you tell the Boss that they're speeding up the production to full capacity for the Port...it's ready to all get brewed up...he'll know what I'm talking about, thanks bye!"

COSBY

"Well, look at that Tom...looks like you and me are going to get a little busy, a lot faster than we thought, that was the inside guy...said they're going into full production right away!"

TOM

"I wonder why, what's the rush?"

COSBY

"Probably because the batch was so late getting in...those crazy grapes, hate to just sit around and collect dust...not good...yea, probably a quality issue...that Ward knows his stuff...so I'm sure it was for a good reason!"

TOM

"Hey, do we still get to waste the old man and get the girl?"

COSBY

"In due time young man, in due time...come on, we've got work to do!

scene close