Wine Mama (72)-Pawning Sandy

Kirk Carter@ WGA Copyright 2013

WINE MAMA (72)

PAWNING SANDY

INT: PALMS HOTEL-HONEYMOONER'S SUITE-SUNDAY-7 A.M.

BRIAN WAKES UP, NOT SEEING SANDY, HE THINKS SHE'S IN THE SHOWER

PROCEEDS TO SNEAK UP TO THE BATHROOM, COMPLETELY NAKED

WITH BUTT SHOT SHOWING TO CAMERA, HE OPENS DOOR ONLY TO SEE NO SANDY

NOT SEEING HER, HE GETS WORRIED LOOK, CALLS DOWNSTAIRS TO PAGE HER

AFTER ABOUT 15 MINUTES, NO RESPONSE

PHONE RINGS, BRIAN ANSWERS

BRIAN

"Hello, Sandy...I mean hello, who is this?"

UNFAMILIAR VOICE

"Hello Mister Cashman, how are we doing this morning?"

BRIAN

"Fine, who is this?"

VOICE

"Oh, that's not so important, we were more interested in making a deal...you are in the mood for making a deal aren't we?"

BRIAN

"What do you want, I'm really not in the mood for any games right now!"

VOICE

"Neither are we, we just thought you might like to make a fair trade on a certain commodity that we have in our possession?"

BRIAN

"What possession do you have?"

VOICE

"Oh, I think her name is Sandy Hudson, I'm sorry Cashman, congratulations on the wedding, didn't mean to break up the moment, but my boss insisted we intervene...you guys were just having way too much fun!"

BRIAN

"Where is she, let me speak to her?"

VOICE

"Not till we make a deal first, you need to listen really close, and if you want your precious little Sandy back, I would suggest you listen carefully!"

BRIAN

"How in the hell did you take her out of here, how do I know this isn't some messed up game?"

VOICE

Listen closely...you can hear those muffled groans and screams..."

IN BACKGROUND YOU HEAR SANDY TRYING TO TALK WHILE GAGGED

BRIAN

"Okay, what do you want, get to the point?"

VOICE

"My, my shall we get to the point...well I believe that you have almost two million dollars of fermenting wine sitting at a certain winery, we would be so pleased if you would give us a release code...we'd like to take possession of it, and you can get your coveted Sandy back in your arms.

BRIAN

"It's sitting in a cave somewhere, it's in..."

VOICE

"Barrel's...we know this Mister Cashman, but with the release code, we can just roll them out, don't worry, we know what we're doing here!"

BRIAN

"I don't even know about a release code, I've never heard of that before?"

VOICE

"On your docket, especially for Port wine, which can only be processed through a grandfathered Port fermentation certificate, look carefully in your paperwork, a release certificate should be in there somewhere?"

BRIAN

"Okay, let me see what I've got here, stuff is scattered all over the place, hold on!"

BRIAN DIALS DOWNSTAIRS ON HIS I-PHONE, WHISPERS TO DESK CLERK

BRIAN

"Look, I'm in 1812, the Cashman's in the Honeymooner's Suite, I need you to Star #69 someone that's on my land line, your house phone, find it's location if you can please?"

DESK CLERK

"Is this a police matter sir, is there something I can assist you with?"

BRIAN

"Yea, I have someone or somebody who has abducted my wife, let's not play around here!"

DESK CLERK

"Yes sir, your call apparently is coming from room 512, did you wish to notify security?"

BRIAN

"That might be a good thing, I'll meet you down on the..."

DESK CLERK

"That would be the fifth floor sir, however, I'm looking at my registry and you might have one little problem?"

BRIAN

"What problem?"

DESK CLERK

"I have no one registered in 512, the room is supposedly empty!"

BRIAN

"Well, can you go check and see what's up?"

DESK CLERK

"Security is already entering the room as I speak..."

SECURITY GUARD ENTERING ROOM SEEING NO ONE IN THE ROOM EXCEPT A RIGGED  I-PHONE WITH A BLUE BOX AUTO-DIAL GATOR CLIPPED TO HOUSE PHONE

BRIAN

"What ever he finds in there, don't touch anything, I'm still on the house line here!"

DESK CLERK

"Well, at some point we need to disconnect this, cause we have guest who have reserved that room this afternoon.

BRIAN BACK ON THE  HOUSE PHONE

BRIAN

"Hello, are you still there?"

LINE IS DEAD

BRIAN

"Shit, did the security guard touch that device?"

DESK CLERK

"Yes, I believe he did, that was not something that was authorized to be in there, why?

BRIAN

"You fucking moron, that was the communication to my wife, they are holding her hostage in trade for some wine, why did you do that?"

DESK CLERK

"I'm terribly sorry sir, I was just following procedure, you didn't inform me properly, would you like me to contact Clark County Sheriff's Office?"

BRIAN

"Yea, now there's a thought, let's do that...

DESK CLERK

"I have them on the line, hold on while I connect you."

BRIAN

"Thanks..." 

SUDDENLY BRIAN HEAR'S BANGING ON HOTEL ROOM DOOR

HE RUNS TO DOOR, SEEING SANDY WITH TAPE ALL OVER HER

SANDY

"They're on the floor below 1710, it's one of Sheffield's fuckheads, close the door, they're coming, they got guns, too!

BRIAN

Hey, desk clerk...please send everyone up here to the Honeymooner's Suite, we found our perpetrators!"

SANDY

"Fucking pricks tried to rape my ass, what have we got to fight with anyway?"

BRIAN

"Plastic butter knives...a sex swing, what?"

SUDDENLY DOOR IS KICKED IN, BOTH GUYS STANDING THERE WITH  NINE MILLIMETER GLOCKS 

BAD GUY #1

"Well, there you two are...now Miss Sandy, wasn't very nice for you to run off like that, but since we got both of you together again, might as well help Mister Cashman with his receipt book...I'm sure he has that mysterious release code somewhere?"

POLICE SHOW UP AT DOOR

OFFICER

"Clark County Sheriff's Office what's going on here, everybody keep your hands where I can see them!"

SANDY

"Theses two fuckers kidnapped my ass last night, I just escaped...from the floor below!"

HOTEL SECURITY SHOWS UP

"Let's drop the weapons guys...whatever game your playing, we're done here!

THEY BOTH DROP WEAPONS AND ARE QUICKLY HANDCUFFED

(1 HOUR LATER)

AFTER OFFICERS FILL OUT PAPERWORK AND TAKE AWAY BAD GUYS, SANDY AND BRIAN LAY BACK DOWN ON BED, BRIAN WEARING JUST A TOWEL AROUND HIS WAIST AND SANDY WITH TAPE STILL ON HER ARMS

SANDY

"Wow, how did they know we were here like that, that's a trip?

BRIAN

"The fact that the goon's from Sheffield would follow us for some partially fermented grape juice is beyond me, they kept asking about a release number, I didn't even know I had a release number, what the fuck!

SANDY

"Yea, I'll give you my release number right here..."

WRAPPING LOOSE TAPE AROUND BRIAN'S TOWEL AND PULLING IT OFF, LEAVING HIM NAKED, SHE TOUCHES HIS PENIS, AND SLOWLY CARESSES IT

BRIAN

"That's a pretty good use of tape...very creative!"

SANDY

"Yea, it was there...didn't want to waste that creative moment, you know?"

BRIAN

"So what's next here, have you got the rest of the evening planned out?"

SANDY

"I don't know about the rest of the evening, but right now, your going to pork the crap out of me, come on boy, get humping!

HE INSERTS HIMSELF AS SHE GUIDES HIM INTO HER VAGINA

SHE GIVES HIM A SWAT ON THE BUTT

SANDY

"There you go...it's rodeo time!"

BRIAN

"I'm so happy your okay!"

SANDY

"Hey, I'll second that, almost lost your cow there!

BRIAN

"God, I Love you so much, thank you, thank you...

SHE GIVES HIM ANOTHER SWAT ON THE BUTT

SANDY

"Shut up, your talking too much!"

BRIAN

"Yes Dear!"

scene close